Wednesday, February 28, 2007

Narcissism and Intimacy

Narcissism and Intimacy: Love and Marriage in an Age of Confusion
Marion Solomon
ISBN-10: 0393309169
ISBN-13: 978-0393309164


A defining dimension of pathological narcissism is the inability to foster and maintain intimacy. Intimacy is not only feared - it is despised because it is perceived as 'common' and 'degrading'. The narcissist idealizes his sources of narcissistic supply and then habitually discards and devalues them. This book is instrumental both as a somewhat iconoclastic introduction to narcissism and as an anatomy of the frustration that is life with a narcissist. - Sam Vaknin

I feel that this book will help both men and women understand not only themselves but their spouse better. All of us have varying degrees of narcissism and in order to love someone we need to learn to control our own needs for the betterment of the two as one and the one we love. This book helps with giving one a better understanding of how we can do that and what may be holding us back from really experiencing true love and intimacy. - David G. Clifford

I read any book about narcissism eagerly, but this one disappointed me. The title "Narcissism and Intimacy" implied to me that this book would explain the frustrating and psychologically devastating maze that is life with a pathological narcissist. It didn't. Maybe because it is a book more about therapy than real life experiences, I found it murky and did not teach me anything new about the subject. Usually I find it heartening to read accounts of the impact of the narcissist on the lives of their significant others, but I really got nothing out of this book. I also got the idea the author was discussing regular narcissism, a personality trait, as opposed to pathological narcissism, a personality disorder. If you want to read a great book that will explain everything you want to know about pathological narcissism, read Sam Vaknin's book "Malignant Self Love", which is long and a little expensive, but really the ultimate book on the subject and worth every penny. If you want something shorter and less expensive, try "When Your Perfect Partner Goes Perfectly Wrong" by Mary Jo Fay. - Sammy Madison