Thursday, June 21, 2007

All About Me: Loving a Narcissist

All About Me: Loving a Narcissist

by Simon Crompton

ISBN-10: 0007247958
ISBN-13: 978-0007247950

To be published 2 July 2007


Why some men cannot love, why we still love them, and what we can do about it. What do you do if you are in love with an emotional vampire? Can he actually control his behaviour? Why does he behave the way he does? Since the ancient Greeks told the story of Narcissus, we have recognised that some people are simply self-obsessed. But there is now evidence to suggest that narcissism is shaping our times, and most of all, our relationships. Today narcissism is a quality that is being continually reinforced by our celebrity-obsessed, high achievement, sell-yourself culture. It is increasingly being recognised as a behavioural disorder (Narcissistic Personality Disorder), with clinics such as the Priory claiming 16% of their patients have this disorder. With real-life case studies and questionnaires, All About Me will reveal whether you are in love with a born narcissist. In this original and compelling book, Simon Crompton explores what this means for our relationships today, and is guaranteed to make you think about yourself and your partner in an entirely new light. Chapter breakdown: 1. It's all about me: What is a narcissist? 2. Look in the mirror: Are you a narcissist? 3. Enter Mr Darcy: Why everyone falls in love with narcissists 4. When Mr Right goes wrong: What it's like to suffer at the hands of a narcissist 5. A world without love: What creates a narcissist? 6. Generation me: Narcissism as a product of our culture 7. I'm a celebrity narcissist: Why narcissism helps people get places 8. Narcissism as a disease: Narcissistic Personality Disorder 9. The hollow men: What it's like to be a narcissist 10. Getting help Contacts and bibliography

The questionnaire

A narcissist, moi? Take our test to find out . . .

1 When you get up in the morning, the first thing you do is:
a) Turn on the radio
b) Look in the mirror
c) Elbow your partner and tell her to make you a cup of tea

2 When you’re having a shower/bath, the average time you spend in the bathroom is:
a) Ten minutes
b) 45 minutes
c) An hour and a half

3 You have some friends coming round for dinner. You’re worried about:
a) Whether everything will be ready in time
b) Whether you should wear Armani or Diesel jeans
c) Nothing – you’re cooking and everyone knows it will be fabulous

4 In ten years’ time I’ll be . . .
a) Older
b) Even more gorgeous
c) Prime Minister

5 When my girlfriend is upset I . . .
a) Cuddle her
b) Wonder if it’s all my fault
c) Go to the pub

6 My friends are . . .
a) A bunch of tossers, but I love them
b) The only people who really understand me
c) I like to think of them as disciples

7 The first present I ever gave to my girlfriend was:
a) A single rose
b) A CD of my favourite love songs
c) A trip to Venice, and damn the expense

8 The most recent present I gave to my girlfriend was:
a) A box of chocolates
b) A CD of all my favourite love songs
c) Er, I think it was that trip to Venice

9 A good night out is:
a) Footy at the pub and a chat about the best sitcom ever and the meaning of life. b) Showing off your pecs at the gym, then out clubbing
c) Piling down the motorway at 120mph with your friends screaming “Let me out”

10 The thing you look for in a restaurant is:
a) Food, tables, chairs
b) Flattering candlelight and lots of mirrors
c) Subservient, obsequious staff who will serve you before anyone else

The results

Mostly As Nothing to worry about. Your heart’s in the right place and your omissions are due to the fact that you like the simple things in life.

Mostly Bs You’re a soft narcissist, obsessed with your appearance and always looking for a good time. But it’s harmless self-indulgence; your vanity is only skin-deep and doesn’t tend to exclude others or make relationships difficult.

Mostly Cs You’re a narcissistic bastard, I’m afraid. You think you’re great and your life revolves around self-glorification. You’re a compulsive thrill-seeker who finds maintaining a proper relationship a trial. Time to find a therapist.