Friday, August 24, 2007


Protecting yourself While Divorcing a Borderline or a Narcissist

by William A. Eddy, foreward by Mike Roe

Item# 0032a
150 pgs., softcover

If you are getting a divorce or thinking about getting a divorce, you really need this booklet that will take you step by step through the process and save you grief and many thousands of dollars. William Eddy may be the only clinician in the United States who is both a clinician and an attorney. He also specializes just in people with both borderline disorders. The comprehensive information in this booklet, if you had to buy William's time, it could have cost you $50,000. People who have used this booklet say more than anything else, it has helped them stay sane and know what to do during their divorce. The following is a message from Bill.”

SPLITTING is designed for anyone facing a high conflict divorce, whether or not your spouse meets the criteria for a Borderline or Narcissistic Personality. Its explanations of WHAT TO EXPECT in Family Court and WHAT TO DO to protect yourself and your children, can be used by anyone, including your attorney, your therapist, your family and others involved in your case.

I wrote SPLITTING after ten years as a divorce attorney representing many fathers (and mothers) whose spouses appeared to have Borderline or Narcissistic Personality Disorders or traits. Since I had been a therapist for the previous decade, I recognized these personality problems -- but I did not realize at first how successful they can be at manipulating and confusing legal professionals.

Rather than being rational and protective, the Family Court process can be very unpredictable and inadvertently encourages false allegations, aggressive and sometimes violent behavior, and intense blaming of the Non-BP or Non-NP spouse. Many Nons have been unable to protect themselves and their children from abuse by the BP or NP, and instead have found themselves experiencing restraining orders, supervised visitation, financial sanctions and even incarceration, because the courts are often more persuaded by the intense emotions and blaming behavior of a Borderline or Narcissist, than by your honest presentation of the facts. I call them "Persuasive Blamers."

This book explains how the Family Court process interacts with these Persuasive Blamers, and summarizes the lessons I have learned, including: the importance of careful preparations before announcing the divorce, using therapists and experts, avoiding short hearings on important issues, fighting hard at the beginning rather than trying to fix bad decisions later, and how to work most effectively with your attorney. I do not blame Borderlines and Narcissists, as they are also caught up in this adversarial process which often enables them to remain stuck rather than getting the help they need.

--William A. Eddy, Licensed Clinical Social Worker and Certified Family Law Specialist

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