Wednesday, November 08, 2006

The Extreme (Pathological) Immaturity of a Narcissist


Grown-ups are able to consider other people's rights and feelings, and they have a sense of fairness. Three-year-olds and narcissists aren't mature enough.

To be sure, they entice their prey into a close, dependent relationship through bribery, by heroic acts of generosity. But, once thus suckered into the spider's web, you always pay.

And pay.

And pay.

Narcissists often meet people who immediately see them as obnoxious attention-pigs. These people can't stand them from the get-go. Several times I have seen ordinarily pleasant people have a surprisingly hostile reaction to a narcissist they've met for the first time.

Most of us are too tolerant though.

But in the end, no amount of enticement or bribery will make people able to put up with a narcissist. They refuse to grow up and stop thinking they're the center of the universe. They refuse to pay even half as much attention as they get.

Demand it and they will stamp their foot and cross their arms like a little brat sticking out the lower lip in a pout and emphatically shaking their head "No!" Their cerebral circuitry has never developed beyond that mental age.

Because it's too hard for these omnipotent little gods to get real and reasonable. No matter what their age. Because their egos are still that fragile.

Kathleen Krajco