Sunday, February 04, 2007

Trapped in The Mirror

Narcissists are people who believe themselves to be the center of the universe, with the people around them merely servants. These parents view their children as only extensions of themselves, and are unable to see their children as individuals. Golomb reveals that the adult child's ultimate goal is the development of strength to free themselves from their parents.

In this compelling book, Elan Golomb identifies the crux of the emotional and psychological problems of millions of adults. Simply put, the children of narcissist — offspring of parents whose interest always towered above the most basic needs of their sons and daughters — share a common belief: They believe they do not have the right to exist. The difficulties experienced by adult children of narcissists can manifest themselves in many ways: for examples, physical self-loathing that takes form of overeating, anorexia, or bulimia; a self-destructive streak that causes poor job performance and rocky personal relationships; or a struggle with the self that is perpetuated in the adult's interaction with his or her own children. These dilemmas are both common and correctable, Dr. Golomb tells us. With an empathic blend of scholarship and case studies, along with her own personal narrative of her fight for self, Dr. Golomb plumbs the depths of this problem, revealing its mysterious hold on the affairs of otherwise bright, aware, motivated, and worthy people. Trapped in the Mirror explores.the nature of the paralysis and lack of motivation so many adults feelstress and its role in exacerbating childhood wrongswhy do many of our relationships seem to be "reruns" of the past how one's body image can be formed by faulty parenting how anger must be acknowledge to be overcomeand, most important, how even the most traumatized self can be healed.Rooted in a profoundly humanist traditional approach, and suffused with the benefit of the latest knowledge about intrafamily relationships, Trapped in the Mirror offers more than the average self-help book; it is truly the first self-heal book for millions.

Trapped in The Mirror
by Elan Golomb
ISBN: 0688140718


I'm not crazy after all!!
This book was a painful journey, but, an awakening to the truth in my life and relationships. It was the catalyst that began my journey in aswering the questions why I feel the way I feel? This book has been revolutionary in my life. I beleive that the concepts discussed in this book are valid and necessary for everyone to understand. The tone is very real,truthful, and painful. This is a book was written for me, to help realize, who I am and why. This book has most definitely changed how I view my world that finally makes sense to me.

A Victim finds Hope in quest for knowledge
If you have ever been haunted by the encounters of a childhood less than the average man experiences, and wondered why. When answers are provided it provides healing and relief from an unstructured and floating stress which has caused many a heart ache. Some of these places I felt as though I was actually in this book! Relieved to know I was not the only one who suffered, and putting a label on the suffering helps to understand and reason yourself back into a reality in which you thought was impossible for you to have. Excellent job on understanding the narcissistic mind, and the reaction and emotions and scars of their victims. When knowledge is provided, healing occurs, along with the possibility of help for the people who are doing the victimizing.

Another Child of a Narcissist Weighs In
Coming to grips with your parent’s inability to love is a very, very difficult process. And it is a process. Two talented counselors and this book were the beginning of my journey. This book is written from the heart, and because it is, it connected to mine. The story and insights were powerfully important in my life. Because of my parent’s narcissism, one life was lost and two more were in peril. It was imperative that I understand and repair the damage my parent’s illness caused. This book does not provide many answers to recovery. But it is a very important part of connecting to the pain and finding a beginning. I had to know the “truth” before I could begin the process of healing. This book will help you find the truth.

The Victims of Stealth
Pathological narcissism is a stealthy, pernicious and all-pervasive form of semipternal and venomous abuse. The narcissist is not necessarily as 'evil' person. He (for 75% of all narcissists are men) is simply oblivious to the long-term outcomes of his actions and inaction. He uses and discards, idealizes and devalues, derives narcissistic supply and then moves on. To be the child of a narcissist is a harrowing, devastating, incomprehensible experience. Golomb does an unparalleled job of mapping the territory of pain and rage that her childhood was - and by implication the childhood of victims of narcissists is. One of 5 books that are a must to anyone who wants to come to grips and demystify this disorder - Sam Vaknin, author of 'Malignant Self Love - Narcissism Revisited'.

Powerful insights hampered by Author's own experiences
Because I so identified with many of the case studies, I found this book to be a painful read. It offers many insights into the mind of the narcissist and the devastating cycle of narcissism in the family. However, I found the author's personal anger and hatred for narcissists to be distracting and even irritating. A good book to gain understanding but it offers little real help for those in need.