This game has no winners

Manipulation is control and no one wins.

It is a toxic cycle of control and compliance.

Low self-esteem, depression, chronic anger, and feelings of helplessness are often the result of being caught in relationships with manipulative people. These can include family members, friends, or coworkers.


HOW DO I KNOW IF I AM BEING MANIPULATED?

If you feel like you can't be heard, if you are afraid of being put down, if you give in when you don't want to and feel powerless to change, if you lack assertiveness, if you are blamed all the time and told you are responsible for what is wrong, you are being manipulated. If you feel like a victim or martyr, you are being manipulated.


WHY DO PEOPLE MANIPULATE?

Because they can. Because they have problems and found that manipulating is a good way to get what they want. The victim's compliance rewards them.


CAN I STOP THE MANIPULATOR?

You can change your behavior and your reactions. This will change the manipulator. It takes two to make the manipulation work. If you empower yourself to change, you can stop the manipulation.


HOW DO I EMPOWER MYSELF?

You already have! Here, you are gaining information. That's the key to change. Learning to recognize the manipulators and their tactics is the first step. Learning what your personal attributes are that makes you vulnerable to manipulation and understanding manipulation techniques and how to respond is the next step.


IS THERE A WAY OUT?

Of course. The cycle of control can be broken and you can learn what the methods are to do this. Learning how "boundaries" work is one step. Finding the right words to respond to a manipulator is another.


Ann Bradley