Friday, January 05, 2007

A Horrifying Peek Inside the Narcissist's Book of Relationship Rules

Involved with a Narcissist and wish you could hear straight up what they want and need in a relationship? Here's your chance...

1. This relationship is about me, and what I need. Period.

2. Your worth to me lies only in how well you meet my needs.

3. If you have needs that don't match mine, or require changes on my part keep them to yourself.

4. Some of my needs do not include you - and in fact include other people I plan to see on the side, and are none of your business. If this hurts you, then understand that your pain is your business to keep to yourself and your responsibility to take care of.

5. You are not allowed to appear unhappy or upset about anything. It interferes with my happiness.

6. I get to be honest with you and tell you exactly what is going on with me, and you are expected to understand and support me even if it is at your own expense.

7. You are only allowed to be honest and open with me insofar as what you say benefits me in some way, or at the very least does not obligate or inconvenience me in any way. Otherwise, keep it to yourself.

8. You will love, honor and obey me and I will do the same for you: only if things continue to go 100% my way.

9. If I have problems I expect you to be there for me to listen to them and offer support. Unfortunately, I don't care to hear about any of yours so keep them to yourself and pretend they don't exist around me.

10. I offer 'tough love' meaning that if I find you fat, or gross, or sexually unattractive, or something simple like if your breath stinks, or I find some other fault in you I will tell you point blank and you are expected to correct those things and not argue with me about them. You are not allowed to do the same for me, however.

11. I will talk to you about things if and when I feel like it. Don't try to get me to 'talk' if I don't come to you first about something.

12. Do not harbor false expectations in terms of what I will do for you. I will only fulfill your needs insofar as it benefits me in some way.

13. I take the blame for nothing.

14. Do not ask me for help with something unless it benefits me directly. If there is something you want or need done and it does not benefit for me specifically, I won't do it. Continually reminding me will do you no good, and will only irritate me - and I will eventually refuse to do it out of spite.

15. Don't offer your advice on ways to do things because I simply don't care and will do things my way anyway. I will give you advice and expect you to follow it, but keep your advice and recommendations to yourself unless I ask for them (this will only be done to appear polite, because I really have no intention of actually heeding anything you say.)

Repercussions: Should you violate my rules in any way, shape or form I reserve the right to berate you, guilt trip you, or use other forms of emotional blackmail until you apologize for breaking my rules. If you insist on making things go your way at the expense of my needs being met 100%, I will leave you. As long as you keep me happy, things go 100% my way, and I don't have to deal with any of your needs or concerns we will be a happy couple.

(Source unkown)