Monday, November 20, 2006

The Tragedy of the Inverted Narcissist

To "qualify" as an inverted narcissist, you must CRAVE to be in a relationship with a narcissist, regardless of any abuse inflicted on you by him/her. You must ACTIVELY seek relationships with narcissists and ONLY with narcissists, no matter what your (bitter and traumatic) past experience has been. You must feel EMPTY and UNHAPPY in relationships with ANY OTHER kind of person. Only then, and if you satisfy the other diagnostic criteria of a Dependent Personality Disorder, can you be safely labelled an "inverted narcissist".

The inverted narcissist is compelled to filter all of her narcissistic needs through the primary narcissist in their lives. No independence is permitted. The IN feels amplified by the narcissist's commentary (because nothing can be accomplished by the invert without the approval of a primary narcissist in their lives). - Sam Vaknin

The inverted narcissist is a co-dependent who caters to the emotional needs of a classic narcissist. Often a relative or mate of a narcissist-- this person feeds the narcissistic supply of adulation, admiration, coddling etc. that the classic type requires. - Lisa Angelettie

Dependent Personality Disorder

Personality disorder characterized by at least 3 of the following:

(a) encouraging or allowing others to make most of one's important life decisions;

(b) subordination of one's own needs to those of others on whom one is dependent, and undue compliance with their wishes;

(c) unwillingness to make even reasonable demands on the people one depends on;

(d) feeling uncomfortable or helpless when alone, because of exaggerated fears of inability to care for oneself;

(e) preoccupation with fears of being abandoned by a person with whom one has a close relationship, and of being left to care for oneself;

(f) limited capacity to make everyday decisions without an excessive amount of advice and reassurance from others.

Associated features may include perceiving oneself as helpless, incompetent, and lacking stamina.