Warning signs for a woman

KAT'S EYE

By KATRINA LEGARDA

There are so many stories about break-ups and violence and even kidnapping of female spouses or partners in the news that it made me think: What are the warning signs that should alert a woman?

There are so many stories about break-ups and violence and even kidnapping of female spouses or partners in the news that it made me think: What are the warning signs that should alert a woman? DO NOT MARRY, LIVE IN OR EVEN CONTINUE DATING a particular man. You can add to the list, OK? Here goes:

1. He tells you when he first meets you that he has found his dream-woman: Hello? How would he know that? Obviously, that statement is based only on what you look like. He doesn't know who or what you are. That statement may also have been based on where and what the two of you were doing at that time: were you at a rave party and you had both downed some Ecstasy? Were you at a scuba-diving resort and you got caught in a rip-tide? Were you both in a coffee place drinking the same kind of cappuccino? Get real. This is not a compliment. He wants to get into your pants. Period. And should you end up (God forbid) married to him, you will not be allowed to gain weight, you will be required to stay home with the children, you will be required to give up whatever it was you were both doing when you first met and, you will be forced to give up whatever it was you were doing when you first met. You are his trophy wife.

2. He can't take "NO" for an answer: You have already told him you are not interested in having lunch, dinner, coffee or tea with him. But he thinks he is better-looking than even Pierce Brosnan, so he can't believe that you would actually reject him. So, he calls you constantly. He texts you constantly. He is everywhere you are, "coincidentally." He calls and texts your friends constantly. Your friends tell you, for God's sake, just go out with him once. BEWARE. He is a narcissist, he will not stop. And should you (God forbid) decide to marry him, be aware that he will expect you to adore him, throw yourself at his feet, beg for forgiveness should you in any way put him down in public. He has no sense of humor about himself because he thinks he is the bee's knees.

3. He wants to know where you are very minute of the day: Girls, this is not love. This is the first sign of an abusive personality. Does he text you every hour? Does he call you every hour? Does he ask you where you are, or are you required to tell him where you are every hour? Does he tell you that your friends don't like you as much as he does? Does he cause you to break dates with your friends because he needs you? Does he tell you that he loves you more than your parents or siblings love you? Have you woken up one morning to discover that you are no longer called or invited by your friends to parties, out-of-town trips, and gimmicks? Is your family asking you why you no longer go to their little dinners and celebrations? Should you (God forbid) decide to marry him, be aware that you will be abused. There is no exception to this.

4. He tells you he is "in a meeting" and so could not answer your calls: OK, once in a while, he will be in a meeting and will not be able to take your calls, or return your texts promptly. But "meetings" are great excuses for liars. Coupled with lying about the existence of a love-child from a previous relationship, or whether or not he ever dated a particular woman, or what kind of job he has, or fill in the blanks - this man will deceive you forever. Should you (God forbid) decide to marry him, be aware that you will become paranoid and be an emotional wreck. You will never know what the truth is and what a lie is. You will become a nag: where were you? Why are you home so late? Where did you go for the weekend? Questions which bug men no end, but questions to which you will demand answers.

5. Finally, he shouts at you, calls you stupid, hits you and you are only dating: Break off with him NOW. He will not change, marriage makes him worse. You are his chattel, his possession, his trophy. You are a battered girlfriend, and trust me: you will be a battered wife. You may even die.

http://www.abs-cbnnews.com/storypage.aspx?StoryId=77848